A hug a day will keep the doctor away

Things change. Things are never the same again. It is part of parcel of life. Maybe I am not those lucky persons who have good friends all along. But perhaps I have but I happen to take them for granted. What kind of person I have become nowadays, it's frustrating to know that I have become so introverted. I wonder how my friends think of me actually, sometimes what they think in fact matters to me so that I can improve myself. This is a time where apparently all my flaws seem to be very obvious to me. Therefore,a sense of vulnerability creeps in. Insecurity is the word to describe the state now. Never have I had such feeling so intensely that I might want to surrender to the world. Really.....I think in my entire life, I have never ever sober up and think of what I actually want out of my life. This also triggers the feeling of loneliness in my heart, despite having my family and girlfriend's moral support. I know, deep inside me, I don't want to be a happy-go-lucky person. I yearn for some achievements now. I guess I may sound a bit too pathetic by now, but truly it's what I feel deep inside my heart right now, and I need a hug, will you spare me one now?