Changing lane

Should I be accepting the position of Recruitment Consultant/Executive with the recruitment agency? I am just wondering if it's rewarding, then I should in fact just accept the job offer. Next Monday is gonna be the day by which I have to submit my feedback to the company. It's gonna be a 6-month probation and for the first three months it's very likely that I am not eligible to any commission, and even after that period, commissions would be paid two months later for each month. *Pondering*

Revisit to past

I'm back in Singapore now. In fact I came back by bus a couple of days ago. What am I thinking now?Hehe, I am thinking of my addiction to Friendster for two years already. I think I had been so fanatic about it that I opened an additional profile each for my primary school,secondary school and college. Feedbacks have been good since I have rallied near to 200 people for my primary school and a whopping 500 over people for my secondary school. So if there's anyone who wants to advertise in both my accounts, contact me immediately, as I can do that for you at a discounted rate. Haha. I am actually in dire straits, I need money now! Haha. Oh crap.

Had been browsing through some profiles in friendster just now and found out some really familiar faces. In primary school, someone actually borrowed money(20 cents I think haha) from my grandma when she went to pick me up. There was an occasion where I got bullied by a few girls during my Primary 2, and I still remember one of the girls' names was Chui Ping, and till now I still could not trace her back. Haha, it wasn't bullying completely, I was just being so shy that they actually talked to me and then teased me eventually. Haha, so funny! There's another primary school classmate who used to be the school and state swimmer, whose mother used to be my mother's colleague, so therefore, my mom used to always mention her name at home again and again back then. Sien. Haha. Another one was the smartest girl of the my primary school whose mother used to give arts tuition outside who just stayed at the house across the street. I used to idolise her because of her intelligence, always wondering how she used to study for exam. Haha. Let me think further first.......Hmmmmmmmmm....................

Secondary school. It's another memorable place. Really. Puppy loves, secret admirers, gangsters, office politics(fighting for president's position), marchings, falling in and out of love, copying homeworks etc. So many things happening that would have influenced the person that you have become of. All these seem to be groundbreaking at least to the weak minds of teenagers, but somehow, they would start to have their way of thinking towards things from that time onwards. Yuppers. I actually felt something like liking a girl when I was in Form 1(was it too late?haha), the girl who used to sit diagonally in the front row of my desk. Liked her ponytail hairstyle, it really looked cute to me. Darn, I was scared to near-to-death to even open my mouth to talk to her. Haha. Gosh. I still remember vividly that I cried on the last day of school of my Sec 1, because I was going to be promoted to a better class and wouldn't be in the same class as that girl. Crazy. Haha. Then in Sec 2. I met another her again. Yaya, you might be thinking that I was not loyal to love or something but give me a break, I bet other guys were also very likely to behave like that during the secondary school, come on! Haha, I got to know her better through Emil Chau's music. Yeah, strings of notes made us closer as friends. I remember that before that trip to the poultry farm in Sec 2, we didn't know each other early of the semester even though we were in the same class. But then again, we were in the same Sports House(Bintang House) and there was once we played volleyball together, she was in the opponent team. But I guess I didn't get noticed by her since thinking back now, I really looked so terrible that no girl would look at. Of course that doesn't mean that girls would look at me now la. Aiyoh. Anyway, back to the trip, it was the singing, yup, whose singing then?Hmmm.. singing of me and another good friend of mine on the bus while listening to the walkman with an inserted cassette of Emil Chau's first Cantonese album of mine. She was seated behind. We continued to sing till we slowly discovered that there was an echo of our singing but in a girl's voice. Haha, oh that was really umpteen years ago man. That was how the friendship bloomed like a flower. There was nothing happened between the two of us, just pure friendship, I think probably also due to my hyper-inactivity. Haha back then even though I used to have liking for girls, but still studies remained my top priority. I was too innocent as well I guess.

Library in my sec school. Another nostalgic place......I was a librarian. Liked a junior librarian. Enjoyed talking to her, love her smiles, then I sent her a stalk of rose on Valentine's day, didn't confess to her because didn't really know the actual way.Basically, I didn't know that I had to ask her directly when she wanted to be my girlfriend or not. Stupid lor. Haha. Later on, she got attached but the boyfriend was definitely not me. Sorrows unleashed and I was truly heartbroken even though it never actually started. Lessons learnt though. I was the class monitor for Sec 4 & 5, well nothing much to say about that, except that people think that I seemed to be always listening to teachers' instruction, seeming to them as some sort of way to "polish their shoes". Haha, oh well, orders must be followed and silence should be observed in the class. Well, I thought that I had become the pain of asses of my Malay classmates back then. Just couldn't stand them running around in class and playing truance from time to time. Haha, well maybe you hate class monitors, but I think as for me I had really fulfilled my job throughout the two years. Had many tuitions, tuition centres and private group tuitions as well. Basically, these tuitions were given by tutors who had qualifications to teach, at least for my Science subjects. When I came to Singapore, I was quite suprised that tutors here were mainly students of tertiary institutions. Hmm, never mind about that. Joined the Red Crescent Society at school for 4 years, it was a good experience for me to learn about First Aid and team work. Loved the marchings a lot in fact. Commanded the junior troop for several times, but it felt nicer to be marching in the line after all. Haha.

GCE Cambridge A Level....done it at a private college in Kuala Lumpur which was not far or near Petaling Jaya,my hometown. It was my first time staying away from home, at a hostel with one roommate. Ah Wong was my roommate throughout the whole course. Stayed in Block G, yeah I still remember...Room 313. Thinking back, I wonder how did I survive in such a shabby hostel. Block E was my favourite block, as it had all the girls that I used to like. Hahahaha. But anyway, I did not feel comfortable at first as I found it difficult to adjust to a new environment, with so many new friends from all over the states of Malaysia. Most of my classmates were local, as in Kuala Lumpur people. I was labelled as the PJ boy. But generally it was fine, they were quite hospitable,nice people. Yeah my class was SN0a. Worst thing to happen after the 1st sem of the course was that one of my classmates with whom I got quite close to passed away due to a motorcycle accident, and I was absolutely shocked upon hearing that, and I initially thought that it was a joke when my other classmate phoned me to relate to me that accident. Gosh. From that moment onwards, I told myself I won't go and get a motorcycle license as it was really dangerous even though it would look cool. I still remember that we went to Jusco in Wangsa Maju together to buy clothes one night. I was in fact devastated upon knowing his demise.

Anyway, later on I started to like a girl who used to sit behind me. Haha I know it's all about close proximity. I felt that this girl was ultra friendly to anyone, but perhaps I didn't realise that so that's why I started to have some feelings towards her. But she seemed very popular among the guys at college, seemed to have lotsa friends and she was with the Xia Xiang Duan. I wanted to join that but was refused entry because my inability to speak proper Mandarin back then. ARgh. Haha. Oh well, gone was my opportunity. I wasn't confident of my appearance too. So I tried improving myself, I thought that it might be a good idea that I buy new and oustanding clothes so that I would really get noticed by her. Yeah, so superficial was I, childlish it may seem, and I thought that I'd overdone it sometimes. Haha. Money I thought invested, had been wasted if I think back of the way I handled this thing. It was not about all those after all. Definitely a matter of attitude and compatibility with her. And guts to confess were never really there. Haha as usual. There was once I managed to ask her out or a night meeting, wanting to tell her how I felt about her, but ended up saying that I liked another girl in her class. Wahahahhaa. Kanasai~! She was really good and nice, I remember her cup of honey for me when I had incessant coughs. It will remain as a sweet memory, story of a one-way love revolving around a cup of honey drink. Another thing I remember was two girls of my classmates always come to borrow my bicycle. Haha. Really funny because back then I looked quite serious and when one of them wanted to borrow my bicycle, I heard that she didn't dare to ask from me and had to make a friend of hers to tag along and ask me. Haha, yuppers, when I don't smile, I look fierce, of course even now it's like that as I have been borned like that. It can't be helped already. I just felt that it was soooo difficult to smile to others, that means I didn't really adapt well in staying in hostel even for more than half a year. The grass the other side is always greener, and so do the girls. Eh, not greener, but prettier. Haha. Yuppers. I had great time spending time with neighbours who stayed along the corridor of my hostel floor. I think maybe we had to endure staying in that shabby hostel till we shared a lot of pain, and also pleasure when it comes to playing together. Haha...steven, ah chai, ah wong, shyan, epanloo, some juniors whom I've forgotten their names, and whistling at girls when they came to our block..Haha...playing magic cards, then crapping, blowing water, teasing one another,washing clothes in the bathroom, cooking instant noodles with water which was not really hot enough from the ever-breaking-down water dispenser,singing in the bathrooms, complaining about the other roommate's, mass-studying like a flock of birds into the study room, occasional trips out to Taman Bunga Raya, Wangsa Maju,Desa Setapak and the pasar malam at which I forgot the name already, talking about the hottest girl in the college, acting crazily with lotsa makeshift props, oh well, haha that was what I miss a lot back then.

Last night in Petaling Jaya

Yuppers, it's gonna be my last night in Petaling Jaya, and tomorrow I'll be on my way back to Singapore tomorrow by 3.30pm. Taking Transnasional coach back to JB and then I will take bus 170 from Larkin to the Custom and then change to bus 950 and then 901 back to my flat in Woodlands. Yeah, that's quite tiring, but most economical way though. And then again, Transnasional is my only choice of bus as it is the best so far and it has not disappointed me yet by its service. Reasons are the bus always leave on time, and then after the half-way half an hour meal & toilet break, the driver will always check on the number of passengers on the bus before leaving the area so as not to leave anyone behind. And then I feel more secure with the driver wearing his blue Transnasional uniform. Haha. On top of that, I can extend the date of the ticket if I wanna postpone my trip to later date with just merely RM1.20 at Transnasional office in Puduraya. All these factors suffice for me to pick Transnasional as my one and only choice. Haha, I don't get any money from them making such advertisement but I don't mind being the spokesperson if I am asked to be one. Haha.

Drove around in SS2(Chinatown in PJ) today and found out that there are a significant number of restaurants here having Hong Kong influence in terms of their interior design as well as the dishes available there. Another thing is that the names of the restaurants are mostly in Cantonese. Haha..I was quite suprised by it actually, anyway, I guess it's a good place to bring my overseas friends to go there and take a look and they would be suprised the same way too.

Oh ya, do vote for my friend Adeline Ong, F5 in the NUS Students' Arts and Social Sciences Club's Beach Fiesta 06 Polling. http://www.funkygrad.com/beachfiesta06/

A hug a day will keep the doctor away

Things change. Things are never the same again. It is part of parcel of life. Maybe I am not those lucky persons who have good friends all along. But perhaps I have but I happen to take them for granted. What kind of person I have become nowadays, it's frustrating to know that I have become so introverted. I wonder how my friends think of me actually, sometimes what they think in fact matters to me so that I can improve myself. This is a time where apparently all my flaws seem to be very obvious to me. Therefore,a sense of vulnerability creeps in. Insecurity is the word to describe the state now. Never have I had such feeling so intensely that I might want to surrender to the world. Really.....I think in my entire life, I have never ever sober up and think of what I actually want out of my life. This also triggers the feeling of loneliness in my heart, despite having my family and girlfriend's moral support. I know, deep inside me, I don't want to be a happy-go-lucky person. I yearn for some achievements now. I guess I may sound a bit too pathetic by now, but truly it's what I feel deep inside my heart right now, and I need a hug, will you spare me one now?

Bliss for her

Met her again when I was in Penang. Gave her 'bliss' in the form of a gift. I wish that she would have a smooth relationship this time round.

Winds of Change

Came back from KTV not long ago, and of course the KTV here in Malaysia is much better than those in Singapore, really really better. Haha, because over here the Cantonese songs are updated from time to time. Cool! Hope that Redbox will open its first branch in Singapore soon.

KTV in Klang Valley

I didn't know that singing ktv in Petaling Jaya(Sunway/The Curve) is more expensive than that in Kuala Lumpur generally. Seems like PJ has really developed a lot and I am really proud of my hometown. It's gonna attain city status soon this year, and Malaysia has ten cities so it's gonna make its residents special. Haha, anyway, I am gonna have gathering with some A Level ex classmates tonight at Redbox Low Yat Plaza. Haven't seen them for two years already. One of them is my ex-girlfriend too. Haha, oh well I guess it should be alright. Anyway, the KTV charges per head for Redbox in Low Yat(KL area) is RM35++ per head(exclusive of 10% government tax and 5% service charge) and the titbit charge of RM10 for two persons.
But it's cheaper than singing KTV in Neway in Berjaya Times Square(KL area) which is RM45++ per head and RM9 titbit charge for two persons, as well as Redbox in Sunway/The Curve which is RM44++ per head. Yeah, when I called them to make enquiries, the staff talked in Cantonese, so I had to talk to them in Cantonese to make my questions answered. Haha, for those who don't know, KL and PJ people in Malaysia are more likely able to converse in Cantonese, since many people migrated here in ancient times from Guangzhou and Hong Kong. But as for people in Penang, my friend said that people can speak Cantonese there, but I don't seem to hear it being widely spoken, because what I think is that Hokkien(Fujian dialect or Min3 Nan2 Yu3) is the main Chinese dialect used there. Since I can't speak Hokkien, then I had to use English and Mandarin to speak there to order food and get me around.

Increased blog readership: Good or bad thing?

Well, I think it's a paradox to have an increased blog readership. The good thing is that for every happenning event, it can be shared among your family members and friends immediately after you update an entry on the event. But sometimes, after relating your friends to the blog you are writing on, there are certain issues that you don't want a certain individual or even a group of friends who know that individual closely to know about the things you are going to write in that particular entry which is of course has something to do with them.

Happy for her

Thinking of my ex classmate now, she had been working with a Singapore company in Singapore, and now there she is, in Yokohama, being posted there to work, very likely to leave her boyfriend behind in Singapore for more than half a year. Haha, oh well, I think it's gonna be indeed a groundbreaking exposure for her working there. Hope to get her phone number soon, so that I can start giving her basic Japanese language lessons via phone, haha. I wish her all the best. I wonder when I can make use of my language skills at work, put them in practice, since if it continues to be like that, it would seem to be a total waste of time for me learning them in the first place. Initially I always tell people that language learning is just one of my favourite hobbies, but after all, it's kinda expensive and time-consuming, eventually making me into thinking that it's an investment rather, a long term one that needs to have a promising return whether in monetary or spiritual or even gallant terms.

Penang trip photos are up in myspace

Yeah, I have uploaded some photos of my trip in Penang, you can check this link out http://spaces.msn.com/travelling1981/ . Haven't got time to do the same with the Langkawi photos yet, probably will do it over the weekend when I can get internet access using my lappie at home. The trip in Langkawi was superb! It was really nice lor....I took a boat trip from Penang to Langkawi and it took about 2 hours and a half to reach the jetty in Kuah. The daily boat trips from Penang to Langkawi are only at 8.30am and 8.45am. I took the 8.30am one. The single way is RM45 but I bought the return boat trip Penang-Langkawi-Penang for RM80. The ferry trip was pretty stable but it was just that it got me all wet and salty as I came out of the cabin seats to appreciate all the natural beauty along the way since the boat was not high after all. Met a Swiss lady and we went to travel around in Langkawi together. Haha, as I said, don't get the wrong idea, she is old enough to be my mother, 56 years of age la. We rented a Proton Iswara(RM50 per day, deposit of RM50) , and I was declared the chauffeur for next two days in our Langkawi trip. What I heard of was that two days were the minimum days you are allowed to rent the car, but it seems that when I was there to rent, they said it was up to me. Anyway, I rented it for two days. Drove half an hour from Kuah town(southern Langkawi) to the guesthouse I will be staying, which is in Pantai Cenang(Gecko Guesthouse). This guesthouse costs me RM25 per night with attached bathroom, it was pretty good also as it is very near to the beach. The guesthouse belongs to a Caucasian lady, with another Dutch guy and a Malay guy working there as assistants. The Swiss lady which I met also stayed in the same guesthouse since we shared the renting cost for the car and it would be quite inconvenient for her or me to stay elsewhere.

On vacation

Now I'm happily resting in Penang, and it's like a sabbatical leave to me, as I am backpacking alone to places which I've been to before, and then places that I have never been to before which is Langkawi. Yeah, I'll be taking ferry to Langkawi in two days' time and staying in a place where it's just so near the beach. Yeah yeah, I am not afraid of tsunami since life is all fated.

Reflections of the past

It is supposed to be a joyful kind of feeling that I should be having, at least it should be within my expectation since I'm getting a darn long break back at home in PJ. Feelings of joy apparently seem to have died down as segments of past memory appear to be unleashed, bringing forth a line of depressive thought in my mind.

Is it because that I have been apart from my girlfriend for a long time that I start to miss her so much? Or is it.....is it because of the girl who I used to admire secretly, feelings for her start to rekindle?Sometimes, the immaturity of my feelings rather embarasses myself. Am I putting this steady relationship into jeopardy? Questions of such kind are beginning to inundate my already puzzled mind. The big '4' is coming real soon. In less than two month's time. Perhaps I just go and get married soon to get over that feeling. Haha.

Wang~wang~wang! Happy Chinese New Year 2006!

It's the time of the year again, where family members, relatives and friends congregate and spend time together updating one another about how one has been doing for the past year, whether good or bad times, and also for some people, it's the time to show off their possessions to peers. To cite an example, you can see how well-off a person has become by seeing the car they drive to your home during Chinese New Year visiting. Haha, anyway, I am the happiest this new year even though I am out of job now, but that one is not of a big problem since I know I would be able to clinch a new job again very soon. I have adequate confidence. The decision to resign from my company was considered a major one, it was rather a difficult decision to make since it was my first job and I always thought that I should have gotten at least a year's work experience before job-hop to another company. I actually felt unhappy working in the company and the urge to leave the company had become stronger as messiness and its disorganisation began to unfold. I didn't give a month's notice to the company as stipulated in the contract that I signed with the company as my boss believed that there's no point holding an employee for another month because he had no intention of working for the company already.

Okay. I won quite a lot of money playing Blackjack with my cousins and my uncle on the 1st day of Chinese New Year. Yeah, I guess this is a good sign since that's a prosperous start. Haha, oh well, I only gamble with them once a year, but it's actually considered not a lot of money being gambled after all, since I don't really quite like to gamble, otherwise I would be on my way to Genting to gamble by now since my luck seems to be quite good apparently.

Just came back from visiting my relative who is turning 95 years old this year. My family must pay him a visit once a year during Chinese New Year. He seems to have grown weak this year, he had to depend on crutches this year to walk out from his room. He still seems alert though, but not as chatty as before. Thin and some part of his skin seemed rather black, probably due to dead skin. Hmm...

Photos before CNY 06

Highly dependant on medication

I have to rely on two types of medication, namely Panako & Anarex. Panako is a combination of Paracetamol(or Panadol in 500 mg) and Codeine Phosphate(9 mg) for which it is for the pain and fever. The other one which I am taking, Anarex, that's for relaxing the muscles(specifically to my chest muscles which are aching). It composes of Orphenadrine Citrate(35 mg) and Paracetamol BP in 450 mg. I wonder what's the difference when there's a BP after it. Anyway, these two can make you feel very very drowsy as both have combined almost 1 g of Paracetamol. After watching one episode of Choong Siong Wan Siu (Triumph in the Skies), I felt the drowsiness starting to creep into my body already. My ache was relieved over the night, but the next morning it will come again. The ache is like a 1 ton iron bar imposing pressure on the chest, even when I am typing this entry, I tend to bend my body to 60 degree angle to horizontal line because the chest seems to be rather heavy. Actually it's not so much of a pain, but it's the uneaseness and feeling of tightness in the chest.

Anyway, Mich's birthday falls on tomorrow. Hehe, when I went home previously, I learned how to bake chocolate chips cookies from my mom and so I did it and then moulded some into love-shaped cookies so as to be given to Mich at midnight of her birthday. Oh well, for some pieces of the cookies, the textures were not so soft and not so loose and MOST PROBABLY it could have been due to TWO reasons, which were high level of hand-moulding and also water content was not adequate OR the flour was overproportioned. I feel that it's like concreting theory in some way. Haha. Bought a soft transparency flowery wrapper to wrap up the cookies, and then the primary present that I bought her was the novel Memoirs of Geisha (with Zhang Ziyi's face on the book cover). Tried in vain to search for its original book version by Arthur Gadden, but I thought the former would cover similar kind of tale about the Geisha. And then finally I bought a cute paper bag to contain all these. The last thing to do is to find a 1/2 kg cake today which I haven't bought now. Still early after all. Haha. My wish for her birthday is that she will have good health, if not excellent health this year, and she would be able to clinch one of the three pharmacist positions at her workplace so that she can still stay within walking distance of her workplace. Happy Birthday Honey Bunny!

Picking up the last speck of dust

I went back to office this morning to settle all the outstanding matters pertaining to my job, then I could see the unhappy and rather black face of my lady boss. She seemed not to be able to give the last smile to me. Perhaps it's due to the fact that I didn't give a month's notice for which earlier on I made a pact with my boss(her husband) that flexibility could come into play as long as a site job is concerned. Anyway, they were lenient enough to give me full month's salary even though I am gonna end my job today. But I actually have unclaimed annual leave to be included into the outstanding salary so it's alright. For the time being, I believe that I need a month's time to rest, but I have to find part time job to support my living here, since on top of the food and travelling expenditures, there are still a few loan repayments have to be made every month. Fortunately, I have managed to change my spending pattern into not lavish kind already. As a result, I still have some money to last me for at least three months while I look for a new job.

Resigned

Yes, I just did. My worsening health condition triggered an early resignation which I think is highly justifiable since health is the top priority of life. I went to see a GP at a clinic near my company yesterday, it took me an hour's waiting time to be called in to talk to the doctor. Anyway, despite being long-winded, he seemed to be an experienced doctor that has loads of advice to offer. Back to my health, what about it then? I've been grappling with chest pains recently, worst was yesterday. What causes it then? I think it's the work-related stress that has caused it. What's so stressful about my work then?It's the inactivity that is stressful coupled with parents' pressure(self-induced partly). I found it tough to tell my boss of my intention of quitting because since I haven't found myself a new job and that losing this job would lead to loss of income and then I would have no money to send home. I pondered too much in this process resulting in an extremely painful experience which I never want to experience it again if possible. At this moment, I just want to recuperate.

Be careful when you enter the lift

Recently there have been several cases of robbery which takes place inside lifts in HDB flats. So to all my friends, be careful and take note of any suspicious person, especially when they are coming into the lift wearing a helmet! Just trust your instinct, leave the lift at once! Otherwise, it would have been safer if you move to private apartments or condominiums, so as to avoid such problem, or at least put it to minimal risk! On top of that, you won't have salesperson knocking on your door, coaxing you to buy his latest home applicances or gadgets!

Wasted!

Would you buy vacuum cleaner which is at a hefty price of SGD3000 dollars plus? Yes, my gf just did. $830 was paid on-the-spot for the downpayment, and then a 2-year-instalment of $100 per month will be paid. She said that she just couldn't say no to the two direct salespersons who went to her house and convinced her to make the purchase.Right after she signed the contract, she gradually started to realize that what she did was a mistake. A grave mistake. The worst thing was that because she was afraid that I would be angry with her, she didn't let me know until the next day. Oh dear, was that a case of hypnotic coaxing?I think it will remain an unsolved mystery.

Job change is needed

I need a job change! The things I have to learn at work has attained a saturated level where I can no longer learn more new things, especially when the senior engineer whom I have been made by my boss to follow around seems to be rather reluctant to impart his knowledge on me. As you all know that my company is rather a SME type of company so fundamentally every teeny weeny of task have to be done as there was not office staffs, despite the fact that my boss just thought that it is alright about the strength of our office staffs. At the beginning, there had been room to learn new skills in a small company, which was the value-adding factor that I had in mind upon clinching this job. Resignation intent is now expectedly pervasive in my mindset, given that a month's notice has to be made beforehand. It's been 6 months plus since my career kicked off as an engineer, and actually being an engineer is alright to me. Just that my company's organisation system has been truly messy. Perhaps it's where they came from. Undoubtedly, my lack of experience which started off as a fresh graduate doesn't give me the pass to make a major revamp in the company, as I can't be having the ability, isn't it?It's all about the rhythm of collaborative work with colleagues.